Today was a day unlike I've had in a long time. I felt free. Free from having to explain myself. Free from feeling guilt. Free to just read and not have somebodies baggage on my mind. I was able to care for my grandma without distraction. She needed me today and I was happy for the new freedom.
I knew that my day was going to be good when I woke myself up in the early morning hours before the sun came up laughing. I was laughing in my sleep and I woke myself up. I don't know what I was dreaming, but something must have struck me as funny. Laughing is good medicine (along with kids...wink). But since all I have is laughter that is my drug of choice!
Want to know what else I was free from; today I was free from drama. The people I interacted with weren't harsh, only wanted conversation, and we allowed ourselves to be who we are. I spoke with someone I haven't seen since childhood. He's my father's age, a long time friend of the family. We talked politics, family, and community.
Today my grandma wasn't feeling well; she had a bad episode. She started off feeling well then she went pale and weak. I sat by her most of the afternoon making sure she was breathing. In her breath I found peace. Watching her calmness allowed me time to experience my freedom and feel thankful for what I've been given and thankful for the people in my life.
To you who have taken the time to read this, thank you and I hope at some point in your life you have the opportunity to sit still and be alone with your thoughts and not be plagued with the shoulds and the oopps of your life. Just reconize where you are, decide where you want to be, and smile. It's amazing how something so simple is so difficult yet so liberating.
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