Smoke and Mirrors

Any good magician knows in order to be the best you must put on a good performance. Show the people what they want to see; create the perfect illusion. If the magician is good at his trade he will reap the benefits of amazement and awe from the crowd. He will keep them coming back for more; he feeds their curiosity and dazzles their senses. When in reality it's all just smoke and mirrors. The elephant doesn't really disappear and there is always a secret escape hatch for the magician to pop out of the impenetrable flaming box of terror.

Such is also the case for dating; it's smoke and mirrors. There are millions of single people in the world many seeking to fill the void in their life by means of human interaction. We all know there is a game to be played. Each of us are playing the same game; however, each of us have our own rules. Though it is somehow against the rules to share your rules; sounds counterproductive, very flawed, and dangerous. Though it's not knowing the other persons rules that makes the game all that more intriguing. This is how we become jaded and hurt by feeding into the rule that you must play the game and have your own rules which are to keep to yourself and make others guess what you are thinking while you are trying to figure out what they are thinking. A vicious cycle that no one wants to break in fear of being rejected, kicked out from the game, or feel like they've been played. This insanity makes you want to quit dating forever, but you know that you must play this game because there are other people just like you trying to find someone to be yourself with.

We in the dating world must hold out hope. Find comfort in the fact that one day the players will grow up and actually seek to "be fulfilled", want to find the "woman/man of their dreams", and they too will struggle. They have the hardest struggle of them all because the smoke and mirrors act that they have performed countless times will drive the "women/man they take home to meet their mother" away and they are stuck with the same quality of people that love the game, want to be played, want to be used, believe that the elephant did disappear, and the magician broke free from the 20 pounds of chains after being locked in the impenetrable flaming box of terror.

I've heard it said that one day "when your not even looking" the person you've been dreaming, dare I say praying to find will walk into your life. With this person the wait 2 days before calling, wait to respond 4 hours after their text, be mysterious, be allusive, share your heart but not too much, hug on the first date, kiss on the third, sex after the first month, he pays for the first 5 dates then she has to start to pay but only for the tip, bullshit rules fly joyfully out the window. With this person you can be who you are, laugh loudly, text at 2 in the morning, they call you, you call them, they accept you, you accept them and a real "fulfilling" relationship is born. I know this is true, I've seen it happen.