What a Feeling

You've heard the expression about the elephant in the room, right? Well, I've been dancing around the elephant in my head. Dealing with things that I didn't want to deal with because it would be too hard, or I'd hurt someones feelings. I am proud to say I am elephant free. I actually feel lighter!! I'm coming to the realization that I am not responsible for how other people respond to me, that is their responsibility. As long as I'm not malicious that is.

Now that I am lighter what am I going to do with myself? Am I going to muck all this beautiful space in my world up with more baby elephants, which will grow into gigantic creatures? No way. I've decided I will only let it what is good and healthy. I will cut my loses and run when my intuition tells me too. I will fight for what needs to be fought for. I will guard myself just enough to ensure my safety. I will make the next man show me he is worthy before I so easily hand over my most precious possession; my heart. Lessons learned, better late than never.

When I was going through my divorce my dear friends kept telling me to be selfish. Do for myself. Find what makes me happy. I thought that was terrible advise, why would I want to be selfish. They didn't mean to be selfish in a negative way; to disregard others. They meant to get in touch with myself. After two years I think I finally get it. They are so right. In May I was starting to take that leap. In December I finally did it. And now, wow! I have new friends, and hobbies that I always wanted to do but just never did. I indulge myself in Mexican food, long walks, massages, weekends with friends, margaritas, and new flip flops. I am confident in myself, but not the extent of being conceited or annoying. I can finally say that I am loving life. I am excited about all the adventures I'm going to embark on. I'm excited about all the people that I haven't met yet. And all the food I'm going to eat.

What a feeling to be able to really breath. To finally inhale without the weight of letting someone down hinder the full expansion of my lungs.